Child alienation can be damaging psychologically. If witnessing parents undergoing the Singapore divorce process wasn’t harming enough, estranging from one parent could cut deep wounds. Child alienation is a far-reaching problem in parents with high conflict.
Some parents will unknowingly or unintentionally alienate their child against the other parent. In most cases, children don’t have reason to terminate their relationship with their parents. Here are ways to prevent and combat child alienation:
1. Use positive and upbeat language.
Sometimes, the stress of lawyer fees for divorce and taking care of the legal disputes can ruin us emotionally, putting us in a negative mood. When talking to your child, it’s crucial that you use upbeat and positive language that will not put the child in a ‘guilt’ position. For example, instead of saying, “Wish I were there..”, which carries missed opportunities and regret, “Really? That’s so great to hear from you!” is more supportive and upbeat.
2. Avoid playing the blame game.
Parents weren’t the only victims. Keep in mind that children are also one and usually the most affected. While your child may not know the divorce procedure in Singapore, they certainly feel hurt and often feel alienated. Your child will likely ‘spy’ and gather more information, and sometimes parents may feel frustrated with this part – do not blame them.
3. Avoid reinforcing your child’s negative remarks about an ex-spouse.
Never encourage your child to make any negative remarks or comments about your ex-spouse. Letting your child say anything negative to your ex-spouse only fuels alienation and resentment toward that person. If your child’s negative remarks are based on past experiences that hint at abuse, have a professional investigate the matter.
4. Allow your child to have time with your ex-spouse.
Divorce isn’t about obtaining the best divorce lawyer in Singapore and attempting to paint your ex-spouse as a person worthy of contempt aside from breaking the union. Allow them to spend time with your ex-spouse. It will help your child build a more balanced relationship and maintain a respectful attitude towards you and your ex-spouse.
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